I watched the new Godzilla movie with a friend this afternoon. It was perfectly enjoyable, if you like that kind of thing (and I do). But learned something too: I realized that Godzilla is a cat. (There are spoilers here, by the way, if you consider a Godzilla movie spoilable)

Consider: the monster is described as an apex predator. It certainly seems equipped to take down prey animals, and we see it do so, so predator seems reasonable. Except, it doesn’t eat its prey. It just stalks, fights, kills, and moves on. At one point in the movie it tears the head off its prey, leaves it on San Francisco’s doorstep, and takes a nap. Prey that the humans were unable to take down. I put it to you, then, that Godzilla is a mother cat, killing a mouse for its idiot offspring, as if to say “See? This is how you do it.” and then leaving it to us to eat. And it amuses me to think of the protagonists of that movie eating nothing but leftover mothra for a month, so I’ll leave it there.