I’ve gotten plenty of fantastic feedback from my friends, VP classmates, and crit partner. I think this bird is ready to fly.
I’m a little nervous about the last change — I’d been thinking long and hard about the feedback I got on Wednesday, that the Moby Dick references were just getting over the top. I decided finally that the answer isn’t to tone the references down, but to subvert them a little. Leave the reader saying, “wait, what?” It might be crazy, or ruin the buildup. Given that I’m grinning like an idiot after re-reading the result, though, I think it was the right decision.
Tomorrow I send it out!